JODY MACGREGOR

Toxic Lipstick’s Cyndii Valentine and Synthia J Popp have managed to stay kids for longer than Bart and Lisa, but who cares? As long as they keep pumping out demented and disgusting music like some Ozzie trash version of Spank Rock, Tank Girl times two if she got kicked out of Maths A for writing swears on her pencil case, it’s perfectly fine. They’re lined up to play at the aptly named Decline Of Modern Civilization to celebrate finishing their latest album of pumping techno songs about pashing boys behind the bike racks and flashing their tits. I’m guessing about the actual content of their new songs, but I’m pretty likely to be right. That album is called Poopin’.

Jody Macgregor: This is your only gig in Brisbane this year, why is that?

Cyndii Valentine: We’re over the hill now, pushin age 14.7 for the 3rd time running. Some guy once said to us, if yr really 14 u musta had a pretty hard life. I guess he’d never been a pre-teen sensation.

JM: How does it feel to have Poopin’ finished?

CV: U know that feeling after u have dumped a huge load? Like REALLY punished the bowl, so hard that the next person into the dunny gags? One of those ones where u use pretty much all the poo tickets, and you’re startin’ to worry that it might not make it down all in one flush. In fact it was SO huge, you’re a bit scared that it might clog the pipes and eff ALL the dunnies up???

Well finishing Poopin felt like that: really good, a bit scary and extremely awkward....

JM: Did you approach Poopin’ differently to your other albums?

CV: No, it was written with the same professionalism and dedication to music production as the first 2.

JM: How was your most recent trip to Japan?

CV: Great. Everyone seemed slightly stoked to see us, and we learnt heaps about deep Japanese kultcha. Smoked some tatami, got busy with a pack of mountain tanuki and introduced bushells to a coupla tea ceremonies. All in all not a bad jaunt. 3 out of B.

JM: What were the crowds like?

CV: In Tokyo they are so cute!!! Lots of girls dressed like unicorns and ponies...lots of pastel and leg warmers.... In Osaka people are more mental and slam dance and make ghost houses with corpses in the dunny.

JM: What is it about Japan that keeps you going back?

CV: The pure techno flowing thru the streets and hearts of the people. And u can by huge packets of pom-poms for less than a buck.... so I guess all the important stuff really.

JM: How do you find time to balance school, boys and music?

CV: It’s an elaborate charade. We’re actually 2 small men who just hang out smokin’ pizzas together.

JM: Which is better, pink or hot pink?

CV: BASS IN YR FACE, PUMPING WITH XTREME NRG TO THE BRUTAL PSYCHO-DELIC HI-TONES OF ACID TEKKNO.

Witness TOXIC LIPSTICK and the Decline Of Modern Civilization at the Tongue & Groove on Thursday Jul 31.

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