|
(Muster/MGM)
The soundtrack for your next Saturday night out!
6:25pm: Arrive at Sizzler, Toowoomba, in new Rivers jeans and fresh-pressed flannelette shirt. Manly aroma of Old Spice and leather boots. Order largest steak on menu. Start with XXXX Gold. Hit another two XXXX Golds while waiting for steak to arrive.
7:45pm: Head to the Tatts. Order rum and coke. Wait for female attention. None forthcoming. Order another rum and coke. Some country shit on the jukebox. Another rum and coke. Where’s Dazza?
7:58pm: Need to take a wicked slash. Head into toilets. Look defensively at other men. Pretty sure one of them’s a poof. Make mental note to challenge him to a fight later on, presuming female attention remains not forthcoming.
8:17pm: Playing pool. Moved onto bourbon and coke. Same shit on jukebox. Tap toes to honky-tonk groove. Wait for females in tight Rivers jeans to head onto the dancefloor and start boot-scootin’. No boot-scootin’ forthcoming.
8:42pm: Where’s Dazza?
8:54pm: Dazza arrives. Order him a rum and coke. Dazza starts scoping the talent at the bar. Inform him that females here aren’t very forthcoming.
9:03pm: Attractive blonde with large assets has attached herself to Dazza. The poof. Make mental note to challenge him to a fight later. Dazza orders her a Japanese Slipper. How does he know what they’re called? Definitely a poof.
10:30pm: Dazza’s bird gets up and boot scoots to a cover of Rawhide playing on the juke. Challenge Dazza to a fight. Get clocked. No female attention forthcoming, even though bleeding and vulnerable. Aren’t chicks supposed to dig that shit?
10:45pm: Order rum and coke. Use ice from glass on black eye. Dazza making out with that bird. Poof. No female attention forthcoming. Head into toilets. Start inventing excuses for tomorrow morning.
CHAD PARKHILL
|
| Comments are submitted for possible publication on the condition that they may be edited. Poster's IP addresses are logged. |
|
Be first to comment on this article
