INFORMER’s currently London-based travel correspondent JACK LANGRIDGE ponders the wisdom of allowing a complete stranger to lead you around the many dazzling sights of Europe.

As the October sun scorches deeper into their bronzed limbs and stubbly chins, the rag-tag crew of pirates bark hoarse orders at bored looking locals and beaming tourists.

“Free walking tour! Free walking tour? You guys here for the free walking tour? Where are you guys from? Free walking tour! Free walking tour starts in fiiive minutes…”

While it’s not quite the same as being forced to “walk the plank,” there is a notion that you’re stepping into the unknown when coming face-to-face with the Pirates of Tourism. Still there’s no need to fear these gnarly buccaneers because virtually all tour guides are the same anywhere you go. They all swag the same swagger as the motley types I’ve traded opinions with in Paris and just as they did in Krakow and Dublin, each searches high and low for tourist bounty, hustling with a style not unlike Capt’n Jack Sparrow.

Admit it! If you’ve ever taken a free walking tour or perhaps a bike tour anywhere and god forbid – enjoyed it, you might agree that you can’t help but become partly envious of tour guides. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve fallen victim to the tourist equivalent of Stockholm Syndrome several times.  So if you’ve decided to make the move from sleepy old Brisbane, keep in mind that as a traveller you will eventually become curious about the place you’re in and there’s only so many times you can flip through a travel book. 

My advice: don’t be afraid of losing a bit of dignity in order to learn. Besides, good tour guides can be very inspiring people.  They exuberantly deliver historical facts about the places you’re visiting with complete confidence often making you feel utterly ignorant, yet it’s a trade off that’s usually well worth it.

The majority of guides are free spirits who flaunt fists full of courage that many of us tend to leave along with our valuables in the safety of our hotels and hostels. And each time I talk to one of these privateers of tourist flotsam, all have the kind of travel stories that tend to make you either drool or blush a deep shade of envy, so fix up, look sharp and pay attention!

You may even find yourself so charmed by tour guide, just as your fellow group members are, it often becomes a challenge to see who takes pride of place, sitting next to the guide when you stop for a beer and a chat. Be warned however that being a kiss-arse can have consequences on any group reunion for a drink later in the night – a mutiny against those loyal to Capt’n Tour Guide if you will:

“That weird looking Australian guy with the beard is being a complete kiss-arse.”

“He’s a wannabe tour guide dork!”

Well actually yes, maybe I do harbour a desire to be a dork in a foreign city leading around a group of people who at the very least want to learn something and don’t care how they look in the process. Either way, these whispering goons are the types that shotgun the back of the Contiki bus for the whole drinking tour of Western Europe.

The thing to remember when joining these kinds of tours is that you will need to swallow some of your pride. The guides may embarrass you ever so slightly in front of complete strangers but remember that you’ll never see them ever again, so why worry? Look, listen and learn because when you’re travelling it’s easy to forget that there’s more to it than getting on the turps. You usually only get the one chance to travel, so make the most of it. 

Contiki (www.contiki.com.au) and Globus (www.globus.com.au) are two of the most popular tour companies, although you’ll find many on the internet, and even more when on the ground in a new country. Choose wisely.

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