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 Introducing Princess Pissy Pants The Cheese Eating Bitch: stories told about man’s best friend inspired by the shenanigans of a certain German shepherd named Murphy. Comedienne JOANNE BROOKFIELD lays down the paw laws and discusses assassination attempts on non-dog lovers with BROOKE MCMASTER.
BROOKE MCMASTER: First of all Jo, can I call you Jo?
JOANNE BROOKFIELD: No. I have many nicknames, which I happily answer to, but people who know me well know not to call me Jo. The ‘h’ key is just a smidge too close to the ‘j’ key on a QWERTY keyboard and one little slip, and things can just go horribly wrong…
BM: What’s the deal with dogs being the theme of your shows?
JB: Dogs are only the theme of this particular show. I never talk about them outside of this one show. My first show was called A Dog’s Breakfast only coincidentally – it had nothing to do with dogs. It was about being single and being flashed by a pervert when I was in Edinburgh. And no, despite being single, I didn’t take the flasher up on his offer.
BM: Tell me about beloved Murphy behind this show; can you share a funny story with us?
JB: I can share many funny stories with you, and when you come see the show I will!
BM: Why not do a show on say another type of pet; are other animals inferior to dogs?
JB: Well, your question has just made me reflect back on my history of pets. I should have done a show about my homosexual rabbits! Oh God – why didn’t I think of that earlier? Why? WHY?! Do you think that should be my next show? Spunky and Spotty: The Dirty Root Ratting Rabbits? Or what about Round And Round And Round And Round And Round And Round: The Story Of Jackie The Clown Fish? I could maybe base the rest of my career about pets from my past. OK, we can probably get another four shows max out of my pets and then we’re done. Oh god, that means I’ll then have to start having children. Or get flashed again? As a more serious answer, I’m vegetarian, so no animal is inferior!
BM: I have a friend who can’t stand dogs; how will this show appeal to like-minded people?
JB: First, you have to stop being friends with that person immediately. I’m serious. Forget writing this article and call them and tell them it’s over. People who don’t like dogs are dodgy weirdo freaks. I think you could be in danger Brooke. Is there a safe house you can go to? Change your identity, perhaps? I read your question for what it is: it’s a cry for help. But I’m here for you Brooke, I’m here for you. I know ‘people’, if you know what I mean, we can get this ‘friend’ dealt with, in a ‘missing person’ kind of way. That’s what is so great about the Gold Coast, all those canals to dump bodies in.
BM: Tell me about the We’re For Naughty Dogs commercial on YouTube...
JB: I ask people to bring photos of their dogs to shows with them, which they do, and it constantly amazes and thrills me at how wonderful human beings can be – it was just an extension of that idea. Plus, I love naughty dogs. Any kind of misbehaviour where inappropriate, I’m a huge fan of, and dogs are pretty good at delivering there.
(Commercial can be found here: www.au.youtube.com/watch?v=9bM-9WH1-Zs)
JOANNE BROOKFIELD plays the GOLD COAST ARTS CENTRE on Thursday Dec 11 Saturday Dec 13. Shows are at 7pm & 9pm. www.myspace.com/princess_pissy_pants.
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