In music writing, much like life itself, you’re supposed to play to your strengths. You may not like doing it, but at least you know you’re good at something. It’s why Steve Carell will always star as the loveable idiot and Vladimir Putin will always have a facial expression that suggests he’s scanning the room for items that will maim you. With that in mind, I prepare to take my turn behind the wheel of this Ship o’ Singles in the manner in which I usually spend my weekends: sullen, surly, sleep-deprived and with the attention span of a small woodland creature. The reviews will also be in real time, acquiescing to the whims of my pudgy fingers and lagging neutrons. Meaning it will probably take you longer to read them than it took me to think them. Fun!

SINGLE OF THE WEEK

DZ – Ruined My Life

(Useless Art / Intertia)

DZ continue to make music that sounds like a party just before a fight breaks out, and so far they’ve managed to get in with the in crowd without coming off as hipster d-bags. You know what I mean right? Those bands that the leopard print lycra girls profess to liking for some indie edge and cred, well DZ aren’t one of those bands. Yet. Ruined My Life has enough robotic beats and shouted vocals to soundtrack your next dystopian steampunk nightmare … or hot Brisbane nights before hitting the town. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.

SCOTT SPARK – Kathleen EP

(Independent)

As seems to be an ongoing trend with singer-songwriters keen to prove that they’re more than singer-songwriters, Kathleen from local stubble enthusiast Scott Spark is rife with curious electronic bleeps and sound manipulation. Admittedly, it doesn’t add much, but nor does it actively detract from it. What you’re left with regardless is some sweet piano folk and Sparks’ calming baritone. There’s a contemplative track, a jazzy groove, one for a nightcap drenched in echo and ennui and an intricate fusion of flute and handclaps. Not exactly mindblowing, but far from being shit ... which is a pretty good complement in my books.

LADY GAGA FEATURING BEYONCE – Telephone

(Universal)

The nineteenth single from Miss Gaga – something something joke something about a having a wenis (woman’s penis) to riotous applause end joke – and we are beginning to see the rule of depreciating returns at play. Probably why she needed to drag Beyonce into the mix. Much like the other eighteen dancefloor-filling singles, it’s overproduced to the eyeballs with an insipid chorus and the most suspect rhyme scheme to date. And it will sell like crack-laced hotcakes that dispense Twilight books.

THE LUCKY WONDERS – Happy Pill

(Heapsaflash)

Western Australian musicians Jessie Vintila and Emma Royle formed The Lucky Wonders after a chance encounter at the Adelaide Fringe Festival. And yeah, it does just sound like a couple of hippies with guitars and pleasant harmonies. Their voices bond well on their folky pop songs, and most importantly but oft-neglected with pop balladry, they know when a song should finish and adhere to this imaginary line strictly.

TRAFFIK – Soul Of The Streets

(Barefoot Records/Chosen Warrior Music)

Soul music is like those true blue ozzie movies about mateship and havin’ a go – done frequently but rarely done well. To go one further, they often fall down in the same areas: over-production, political lyrics with all the subtlety of James Cameron and the tendency to confuse vocal chord virtuosity with emotion. Why am I saying this when I should be talking about Aussie dreadhead soulster Traffik? Oh, no reason…

THE SMOKE – Bury My Love

(Independent)

“I asked her where she came from, and she said nowhere.” Wow, is that what counts for profound mysticism these days? Up until that point – the one-minute mark, and unfortunately for The Smoke it’s their opening lyric – I was enjoying Bury My Love’s hard rock grooves and jangly guitar hook. It was still enjoyable past that point, but there’s a lesson somewhere in there about strong first impressions.

ANGUS & JULIA STONE – And The Boys

(EMI)

Brother & sister duo from Sydney begin their reclamation of the luscious downtempo folk crown with And The Boys, to accompany their full-length sophomore album due March 2010. Julia’s breathy vocals have the sweet qualities of a young Stevie Nicks without the cocaine narcosis, as an intricate synthesizer riff drifts in and out of focus. Sounds like summer sunsets on a balcony with a rapidly warming beer.

THE BOAT PEOPLE – Echo Stick Guitars

(Shock)

Is it possible that The Boat People have spent too much time abroad, and are no longer recognizable from their street-walking lo-fi jangly early Brisbane days? If Echo Stick Guitars’ droning blip beats is any indicator the answer may have to be yes. The geeky falsetto and Hot Chipping choruses are charming, but the following remixes sound like they could be the next target for The Flight Of The Conchords.

DAVID GAGLIARDI – This Is Ours

(A New Entity)

David Gagliardi is the longtime drummer for Australia’s best post-rock band (which may mean a little or a lot to you) Laura. The stylistic departure – slow-burning indie rock sounding like Charge Group rammed through a fuzzbox – is not even the biggest surprise in This Is Ours. That title goes to the single’s all-to-short languid beauty and Gagliardi’s sweetly limited vocal range.

KILL TEEN ANGST – Gen Y

(Aloha Music)

Oh look at me, I’m Gen Y, aren’t I crazy with my genius phones and stupid haircuts and my Tweets and my unemotive post-punk anthems? There is a twang of taking things too seriously on Gen Y – in part possibly due to Scott Tomlinsons vocals, which sound like they’re being breathed onto your neck – and what begins as a droning guitar line moves from defining to repetitive within three minutes.

COMIC SANS – Nani

(Independent)

Did I say unemotive? Because there are moments during Nani that make Kill Teen Angst sound like Sophocles was the bandleader. There’s a hell of a lot going on in Nani, as they move from mostly indecipherable verses to largely incomprehensible shouty choruses. There’s a strong sense of melody and the haunting keyboards are a nice touch, but I think these four Brisbane boys have missed the screechy dance punk boat by about six months.

So there you go, my take on the single jungle for this week. I was expecting, with the holiday season looming, a bit more of a concerted effort to separate people from their money, but I guess the major labels are more focused on alternative promotional tie-ins – new from Activision, exlusively on Xbox: Rehab Hero – and the indies don’t rightly care for Christmas, what with being heathens and pagans. Simon will be back next week from his global jaunt, let’s start taking bets on how many times he can mention that he saw Woody Allen in NYC.

MITCH ALENANDER

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