(Hollywood Records/Universal)

The tween pop heart of darkness beckons

I’ve never been one to turn my nose up at music based on its indie credibility or lack thereof – I mean, I went to and enjoyed a goddamn Celine Dion concert – but when the new Miley Cyrus album landed on my desk, I felt I was about to cross a line. Until then, Cyrus had been at best a vague abstraction to me, but suddenly, I found myself faced with the very real and upsetting prospect that I might actually find her music enjoyable. How does one come back from that? Can’t Be Tamed, which I’m told represents Cyrus’s first foray into adult-oriented dance pop, sounds like an awkward hybrid of Ke$ha’s lewd electro come-ons and Kelly Clarkson’s serious-as-fuck power ballads. Subtlety is definitely not Cyrus’s strong suit; opener Liberty Walk sees her spitting female empowerment raps over squealing synths, while take-no-prisoners trance pop assaults Who Owns My Heart and Robot make Britney Spears sound positively restrained by comparison. A trashy, auto-tuned cover of Poison’s Every Rose Has Its Thorn is a highlight (or lowlight, depending), as is Red Bull-fuelled rocker Two More Lonely People. While I can’t say I’ll listen to this relentlessly perky, produced-within-an-inch-of-its-life pop record again, Can’t Be Tamed is not without a certain guilty appeal, and I’m grateful to Cyrus, if only for reassuring me that even I’m capable of drawing the line somewhere.

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ALASDAIR DUNCAN

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