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 In cinemas now [MA15+]
Director: Neil Marshall
Runtime: 94mins.
There’s a line early on in Neil Marshall’s Centurion where Michael Fassbender’s main character Quintus Dias ruminates on the long, bloody, and ultimately pointless conflict between the Roman Empire and north Britain’s Pict nation: “This is a war without hope; a war without honour”. I found myself thinking about post-911 Iraq and Afghanistan, the depressing line of flag-draped coffins streaming back into England from the latter, and Wikileak’s recent release of 90,000 military reports from various western armed forces, among which were many reports of the horrific injuries suffered by soldiers and civilians. Given Marshall’s penchant for blood and guts – he also made the vicious werewolf splatter movie, Dog Soldiers, and the impressive spelunking horror film, The Descent – it’s no surprise he would eventually visit one of history’s more violent periods.
Quintus is a Roman centurion recently posted to Britain, and has the uneasy distinction of being the only survivor of a Pict attack on a remote garrison. When he is rescued from his persecutors by a legion despatched to avenge the outpost, Quintus is immediately pressed by General Virilus (Dominic West) into accompanying the legion to exact his own vengeance. And there are plenty of Picts prepared to bare their throats in an effort to defend their homeland. A curious blend of pallid Vikings and smelly, dreadlocked hippies, the Picts are fiercely proud of their lonely, wind-blasted mountains and plains, and wield their axes, swords and pikes with cruel efficiency, especially under the leadership of King Gorlacon (Danish giant, Ulrich Thomsen), the kind of dad who encourages his twelve-year-old son to participate in their torture of Roman prisoners.
After, the Romans are guided by a cranky half-Pict mute named Etain (Bond-girl, Olga Kurylenko) into a lonely valley, Quintus and several other soldiers are forced to fend for themselves against their enemies as they limp back towards the safety of Hadrian’s Wall, and Gorlacon’s soldiers have sworn not to return without the heads of the Romans.
We’ve seen plenty of sword-and-sandal epics over the last few years, whether on the big screen – 300, Clash Of The Titans and Troy – or on the small screen – think Rome or Spartacus: Blood And Sand. So anything coming our way new needs to have some fresh perspectives, and in the case of Centurion, a fancy font for subtitles and credits doesn’t quite cut it. While Centurion is slickly made and well-acted, this film is really just for the fanbois, as there is plenty of blood and guts and gruesome deaths, but not much more.
***
TIM MILFULL
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