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In a show of utter arrogant contempt for you, the Rave Singles devotees, reviewer Simon Topper has decided that he can get away with just ripping off shit that people have posted on internet forums, and you will never notice. He’s been doing it for years, with Singles reviews, tax returns, and his girlfriend’s birthday cards. As he was finally hunted down by Media Watch this week, we thought it would be wise to acknowledge the problem ourselves first, so here’s this week’s Singles reviews as he’d normally publish them, but with full accreditation for the first time.
 PIP BRANSON CORPORATION – Hot Dollar EP
(Corporate Records/Inertia) www.guiltyp.proboards105.com/ OzRockDude wrote: Hey guys just letting you know that there’s a new indie band from Melbourne that’s really worth getting on board with. I thought it sounded really cool after a couple of listens but I didn’t know who it was but then I read about them and Pip Branson was the guitarist for Sidewinder and they were one of my fave bands in the ‘90s! OMG pwnd shoulda known his name ROFL! Some of the songs here are really good rockin songs and some are a bit funny like the one where he calls his hott gf a monkey but then he says ‘but a monkey in the good way, as cheeky as can be’, and that’s real nice. It’s a bit like Dan Kelly is singing for Red Riders maybe I dunno but you should listen cos it’s the best new Aus music Ive heard this year. kthxbye james wrote: Yeah, well that’s just like your opinion man, I am going to kill you.  THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT – Reach
(Roadshow/Sony BMG) www.seriousmusicappreciation.srsvery-serious/butterflyeffect DesolateAngel: Has anyone else got the Reach single yet? I know it’s on Imago but you’ve gotta support excellent Australian bands. ArchWinter: I d’loaded Reach when the album leakd before its release but then i brought it from the shops the morning it came out. For full price too, none of these discounts, you gotta show teh counter dude how srs u r about Aus music. DesolateAngel: Yeah they are easily the best Australian band ever, so melodic and honest and serious, maybe just ahead of Cog, except not as heavy :( Hollowsoul: i saw TBE play the uni at armidale and they were teh best musicians i ever seen. i’m gonna get this single cover tattooed on my leg to show how much they r real music and not like all the top 40 crap ArchWinter: I’m gettin the album cover & liftout booklet all tattooed across my face so that every time I’m talking to someone about music they’ll be all What music do you like? and theyll stare into my face n see what real music looks like, and if they like Top 40 shit then my tattooed face will just kill them with awesomeness. Hollowsoul: top40 music is so shit people are fkn retarded ArchWinter: a/s/l? DesolateAngel: I’m booked in to get all of their songs all over me. Hollowsoul: u mean the covers or the lyrics DesolateAngel: Neither, I mean the actual songs. I’m going to get a vinyl scarring technician to carve the songs circularly into my back with a knife so that if I lie down on my belly on a giant rotating turntable, a needle can play every song right off me. I will have TBE inside of me. ArchWinter: Any1 not prepared 2 do even that dusn’t know what music is. They’re all brainwashed by the media. Hollowsoul: yeh brianwashd.  BABYSHAMBLES – The Blinding EP
(EMI) www.narcanon.org.uk/forum/doherty robert14 wrote: Attn user ‘drugfookdscum’ who said that Pete is nothing but a washed up druggie who likes getting his picture in the magazines and needs to die. Many critics and fans would disagree, and in fact I have bookmarked several forums on the net which show people comparing his lyrics to those of Dylan, Lennon, Morrisson and other people you’re not allowed to dislike because they’re either really good or dead or both. Have a listen to Babyshambles’ new EP and then tell me that those 5 songs aren’t up with the best of his Libertines songs. Sure, some of them are about having no money, or troubled teeange years, or stealing, and one’s called Sedative, but it doesn’t mean Pete’s mind is full of nothing but drugs. He’s still got some Clash tunes in there too to rip off by the sounds of it.  PANIC! AT THE DISCO – Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off
(Atlantic/Warner) www.fringecentral.com/emodenial KarleePanic<3xx wrote: omgzors panic! r sooooo awesom!!!!!1 I LUV this clip with peeple r walkign around with fish tanks on there head… lol wots that about there so deep!!!! I cant beleive this is only out now... i d/l this on theyre myspace in 05 i was one of P!ATDs first 100 friends, thanks for the add! so me n my frenz haf been listeng to this for years n it is the best song we have ever heard in our hole lives n it is amazing!!! but these fuktards at mi scool say they r emo FFS THEY R NOT EMO U DON’T SEE THEM CRYING OR SINGNG ABOUT KILLING THMSELVS LIKE SIMPLE PLAN OR SOME TEENYBOPPERS JUST BECUS THEY HAVE EMO HAIRCUTS DUZ NOT MEAN THEY R EMO THEY R JUST IN FASHION why dont they just die those l0sers???? omg they rote that P!ATD r gay on my scoolbag but they put Panic not Panic! so omg lern to writ u losers wot a joke i will marry brandon  THE AUDIO THIEVES – Is This Love?
(Central Station/MRA) www.kentuckyiceskating.com/forum/county access/birkdale Ice_Nanna wrote: Hello fellow Birkdale County icedancing enthusiasts! Well done to local Ken and Delia getting all the way into the county finals for Interpretive Ice Dancing (Over 60s)! After seeing them glide and jump around the ice on Sunday like a couple of spring chickens (LOL!) I’m sure we all agree they’re bound to do well, and considering Delia’s recent bout of arthritis, this is proof positive that our group prayer meeting works! For the finals the famous couple are trying a zippy new routine set to some very lovely young people’s music. They’ll come out doing their Spiral Two-Step to a very dancey song by an Aussie lass called Kylie Minogue called Spinning Around, then they’ll re-enact the tango (with a couple of cheeky additions!!) to a very nice song called Is This Love? by the Audio somethings, and then they’ll finish with a real toe-tapper by a chap called Dr Alban, called Sing Hallelujah, in which they’ll throw their hands to the sky, and if need be, Delia will miraculously heal Ken’s gammy leg. Thanks to Noel for putting all the music on tape for us, and we’ll see you there! Don’t forget to vote for which team colours you think look best, and hopefully they’ll be wearing them all the way to State heats in April!
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