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GOTYE – I Feel Better
(Eleven)
I don’t listen to Triple J; I don’t listen to any radio station. I don’t have the patience to listen through scores of mediocre songs so that anything halfway decent will stand out like a revelation. I haven’t heard Gotye’s last single, Somebody That I Used To Know, being flogged to death over the airwaves, but I’ve heard that Somebody That I Used To Know has been flogged to death on the radio. My friends have told me so, although none of them listen to the radio. We all know that a fuss is being made over Gotye, but none of us have any frame of reference as to what has caused such a fuss. It’s like this song written by a guy with an unfortunate name (who else, upon hearing the name Gotye immediately goes to Seinfeld and Elaine dealing with the old lady with goiter?) has somehow sewn itself into the very fabric of pop culture. Now though, I have heard Gotye’s follow-up single, I Feel Better, and I can talk about the artist because I’ve done the research and got myself informed. When my friends talk about ol’ Goiter I can chime in with authority, and say stuff like ‘I’ve heard his music’, and ‘it’s ok … I guess.’
 STEEL PANTHER – 17 Girls In A Row
(Universal)
There a lot of bands who have been labelled responsible for ruining this year’s Soundwave Revolution festival. Both Limp Bizkit and Aerosmith were immediately called out as scapegoats when the whole thing fell through. Although Steel Panther didn’t ruin the Soundwave Revolution tour – which also happened to be Australia’s first chance to see Danzig in a long time – they were the first to tell the world that the whole thing wasn’t going to happen. Listening to 17 Girls In A Row, the new single from an album ingenuously entitled Balls Out, I get the overwhelming to shoot the messenger. The track is an un-funny, barely ironic take on the classic Sunset Strip sleaze rock formula where the lead singer, you guessed it, regales listeners with the story of ‘rocking 17 girls in a row’. It’s tired, more tired than anyone who actually would attempt to pull off such a mammoth feat of glam rock sportfucking. Steel Panter, Axl braided his hair and everyone in Motley Crue is a pathetic mess, maybe it’s time to get a new shtick.
 SINGLE OF THE WEEK
SLOW CHASE – Algernon
(Independent)
My interest was piqued in Melbourne two-piece rock outfit Slow Chase by the title of their single, Algernon. Was I hoping for a song about bunburying and cucumber sandwiches? Perhaps. Even when there turned out to be no Oscar Wilde references in the three and a half minute rock track (having listened to the song I have no idea as the band’s degree of interest in 19th century farces), I didn’t resent the track for its failure to deliver on its titular promise. Like a less pretentious White Stripes, the male-female duo Slow Chase keep their sound towards the minimal end of the spectrum and have their feet firmly planted in the vintage world of retro rock. On Algernon, there are big hooks and melodies structured around a simple but powerful back-beat. A rollicking number from the band’s upcoming EP release, Algernon struts and swaggers like a particularly arrogant and fabulous… oh, now I get it.
COLDPLAY – Paradise (Tiesto Remix)
(EMI)
Coldplay are one of the most awful bands in the world today. They’re like U2, but without that period in the ‘80s where they had musical credibility. Coldplay are a U2 that skipped ahead of having any relevance and went straight to writing pap that would only become popular because it has been birthed from the anus of bloated megastars. They’re so infuriatingly bad, because every song they write seems to be underpinned by a vague pleasantness. Listening to Coldplay makes me wonder if I’m participating too much in a society that would glorify such bland, smooth noise as music, because songs like Paradise sound like they were written to score commercials.
What’s the only thing worse than a Coldplay song? A Coldplay remix. Goddamn this band is annoying. Don’t listen to Tiesto’s remix of Paradise. It’s just plain awful.
LLOYD feat. ANDRE 3000 – Dedication To My Ex (Miss That)
(Universal)
Upon first listening to Lloyd’s new single Dedication To My Ex (Miss That), you’ll immediately draw parallels between the song and Cee Lo Green’s flash-in-the-pan hit, last year’s Fuck You. But instead of being an original, disarmingly profane, neo-soul R&B number, Dedication To My Ex sounds like, well, it sounds a lot like Fuck You. Backed by a swinging band, Lloyd sings a catchy pop track that shares the same ratio of lyrical angst to optimism as Cee Lo. The only thing saving Lloyd’s Dedication To My Ex from egregious revisionism is Outkast’s Andre 3000 verse. Rapping his turn without detracting from the song’s soul motif, 3000’s contribution lends the song a toe-tapping credibility that’s liable to make it a summer party song.
 RICKI-LEE – Raining Diamonds
(EMI)
In the pop world, no honour is greater than having your name changed. Obviously, there’s a delicate and complicated set of unspoken guidelines that govern this phenomenon. Having a pop pseudonym is good (Lady Gaga) but to be singularly named (Madonna, Cher) is best. However, be careful not to go too far, because any less than one name is rejected as being too extravagant (The Artist Formerly Known As Prince). So where does having two first names fit into this equation. Ricki-Lee is striving for the upper-end of the pop stratosphere with new single Raining Diamonds and consequently every pop cliché under the sun, from repeating ‘woah’ like the one word was an entire verse to the vaguely empowering but mostly nonsensical lyrics or the generic synthy arrangements, is represented here. Ricki-Lee deserves to not only have a hyphenated first name, but like, four last names conjoined. Long, foreign ones too. Ones that ignorant Anglos have a hard time pronouncing.
TOM HERSEY
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