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One of Brisbane’s newest and funniest stand-up comedians, ANNE HOWE, has just returned from parent teacher interviews. CAMILLA JONES asks her how they went, “Well, actually,” she starts in her thick cockney accent, then stops, “By way I’ve got a mouth like a sewer – I do apologise – I was swearing to the teacher and then I thought ‘Oh fuck! I’m at the school!’”
It’s this charming lack of self-awareness that has rocketed Anne in one year from doing open mike nights to being booked by venues all over South East Queensland. It’s also part of what makes Anne’s set so refreshing. She’ll be chatting along like Eliza from My Fair Lady (I find out later she did once take elocution lessons!), only to stop herself as if she didn’t mean to divulge the ridiculous logistics of a ‘landing strip’, or pauses to apologise for her language. A Beautician by trade, you’ll find a lot of anecdotal material in her set. “I’m a crap Beautician,” she says, “So I thought I might as well knock this on the head and talk about it. I got sick of seeing that much fanny. I thought, ‘God, I should have gone into obstetrics or gynecology’”.
But back to the parent teacher interviews, “Jesus, this technology shit is doing my ‘ead in!” Anne exclaims. “They sent home this form that saying you can make your appointment to see the teacher in the Parents’ Lounge and I thought ‘How lovely, there’s a lounge!’ – It’s only a fucking lounge on the computer! It’d be all right if I knew how to work the bastard thing”. Hardly the Virgin Lounge she was expecting, “I know!” she says, “I thought ‘Fantastic! I’ll get to meet some new people.’ But, it was not to be…” she laughs.
Anne’s Australian story started in 2002, when she emigrated from London with her husband and two kids. “We love it,” Anne says, “Absolutely fitted in like a hand into a glove and then you know, I love going to parties and having a laugh. Love ‘avin a giggle. Love ‘olding court. So it was a year ago, friends of mine we were having a laugh and telling anecdotes about going shopping, you know, taking the piss, and they said ‘You should be doin’ stand up. And I said ‘I’d love to do stand up but I’ve never had the guts’. I mean, it’s one thing telling a joke to your mates but it’s another thing entirely getting on stage”.
Still, Anne braved the open mikes around town and by July the Casinos were asking her to appear. “I’ve been so lucky. I think age and weight has got a lot to do with it. Truly! Cause when I was like 20-something and just a few kilos and had it goin' on, I wasn’t half as confident as I am now – cause you can hide behind being a fat chick. Fat is terrible thing, but it’s also a fabulous cover” Anne says in mock serious tone.
Anne’s not your average working Mum, but she takes it all in her stride “Alana said to me, ‘Stand up’s great for you Mum, cause let’s face it, you can’t focus’ – she’s 13 going on 48. Kev thinks I should have been doing this years ago,” and then, “Olivia!” she breaks off, “Who’s that? Oh, it’s Daddy. Christ. This friggin' house. Sorry about that. I thought my 10 year-old had legged it out the door, I nearly shit myself. On the plus side, it’s one less person to cook for”, she laughs.
Catch ANNE HOWE doing some seriously funny material this Saturday May 10 at the Paddo Tavern Sit Down Comedy Club. She also supports Rob Browne Thursday May 7 at the Treasury Casino.
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