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 Theatrical contortions of the male genitalia, genital origami or plain ol’ dick tricks – whatever you want to call it, there are two men who have made a killing out performing it. One half of the elastically inclined duo DAVID ‘FRIENDLY’ FRIEND corresponds with CAMILLA JONES about how he’s been making people laugh with his downstairs bits for the larger part of a ‘dickade’.
CAMILLA JONES: You started this when you were quite young (in the bath) – what was going through your mind when you looked at your tackle and thought, ‘I wonder what I can do with this’?
DAVID FRIEND: I was 2! I thought it was another toy. I started doing it (like every other boy), just to amuse myself.
CJ: When you meet a girl at a bar and she asks – ‘what do you do for a living’? What’s your response?
DF: “I play with my penis.”
CJ: While you were in the West End, apparently you had some celebrities in your audience, including Hugh Grant, Elton John and The Beckhams. What do you think they made of the show?
DF: Hugh Grant loved it so much he described a trick he could do. We encouraged him to show us but he had just been in a bit of trouble for something similar, so he declined. I’m sure Becks has taken the Hamburger to Manchester, Madrid and LA!
CJ: In your many travels have you gained any valuable insights into the male/female psyche, for example, anything about how men are perceived, or perceive themselves in different parts of the world?
DF: It’s not really about how men are perceived, it’s the penis. Wherever we go, half the people have one and want to learn the tricks, the other half don’t have one and would like one, even for just one day. The show is actually received in a similar fashion in most countries. Everyone seems to laugh at the penis.
CJ: I believe you’re now starting Puppetry of the Penis “Private Parties”. What goes on during auditions for these shows? Also, what are your interviewing criteria for someone to become a puppeteer?
DF: The auditions are a little scary … for us. Lining up a stack of blokes, asking them to drop their pants and show us a hamburger and a couple of other tricks. We like to see a good personality and it certainly helps to have a total lack of shame.
CJ: How many hours to you spend each week coming up with ideas for new tricks?
DF: Not many at all actually! We used to sit down and come up with new stuff regularly but there’s only so much you can do with two testicles and a penis and we reckon we’ve reached the limit. Every now and again we think of something new and it will get a run. The show is a ‘greatest hits’ package now.
CJ: Your partner in puppetry crime (Simon Morley) says there are a lot of budding ‘dick trickers’ out there. What would be your advice to them?
DF: Don’t be afraid, give us a call. You could find yourself traveling the world, getting paid to make people laugh by dropping your pants and showing your talents. We’ve had about 40 blokes work for us all over the world over the past 10 years.
CJ: Could we assume that the bigger the penis – the greater the possibilities for tricks?
DF: We don’t like to talk about size, but the more clay a sculptor has to work with, the more he can create.
CJ: Have you ever thought about piercings to add a new dimension to the show?
DF: No! Pain is not a part of my wish list for my penis. I like it just the way it is – it doesn’t need decorations.
PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS will be performing contortions of the male nether regions for your amusement at QPAC all this week (Tuesday June 17 to Sunday June 22) as part of the In Stitches Comedy Festival. www.alist.com.au
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